My part in the deception had lasted for twelve years and is one that I will always
regret. However, it taught me the value of being truthful and that neither fame,
love, money nor anything else is worth a bad conscience. I still had questions
about life and God and they led me to search in strange and dangerous places for
answers. I investigated the occult, astrology, palmistry, and even handwriting
analysis, looking for answers. My love for art led me to investigate many ancient
cultures and their philosophies, which were reflected in their art. I read volumes
on Eastern philosophy, and even tried transcendental meditation. My spiritual
hunger led me to look into the various religious beliefs of people who came into
my life. On both sides of my family and among my friends I came in contact with
various Protestant religions besides that of the Methodists, including those of
Christian Scientists, Mormons, Lutherans and Unitarians. When I married my present
husband, a Catholic, I seriously investigated that religion. I still found no
satisfactory answers always there were contradictions, and always there was something
missing. With this exception (not having answers to life's important questions),
my life had finally started straightening out. I had achieved just about everything
I ever wanted. Most of my time was being spent in doing what I loved to do best,
painting children (mostly little girls) with the big eyes. I had a wonderful husband
and a fine marriage, a lovely daughter and financial security, and I lived in
my favorite spot on earth, Hawaii. But at times I wondered why I was not completely
satisfied, why I smoked so much and occasionally drank too much and why I was
so tense. I did not realize how self-centered my life had become in my pursuit
of personal happiness. The Unexpected Change Jehovah's witnesses came often, every
couple of weeks, to my door, but I rarely took their literature or paid much attention
to them. Little did I realize that in due time one knock on my door would drastically
change my life. That particular morning two Oriental women, one Chinese and the
other Japanese, appeared on my doorstep. Sometime prior to their coming, my daughter
had shown me an article about the sabbath being Saturday, not Sunday, and about
the importance of observing it. It had made such an impression on both of us that
we started attending the Seventh-day Adventist Church. I had even stopped painting
on Saturday, thinking it was a sin to do so. So when I asked one of these women
at my door which day was the sabbath, I was surprised that she answered Saturday.
So I asked, "Why don't you observe it"? Ironic, wasn't it, that I, a Caucasian,
raised
in the "Bible Belt," should be seeking information from two Orientals who were
probably reared in a non-Christian environment? She opened a well-worn Bible and
read directly out of it scriptures that explained why Christians no longer are
required to observe the sabbath or the various other features of the Mosaic law,
why the sabbath law was given, and about the future Sabbath of 1,000 years. Her
knowledge of the Bible impressed me so deeply that I wanted to look further into
the Bible for myself. I gladly accepted the book The Truth That Leads to Eternal
Life, which she said would explain the basic doctrines of the Bible. The next
week when the women returned, my daughter and I began studying the Bible regularly.
It was one of the most important decisions of my life and led to dramatic changes
in the lives of both of us. In this study of the Bible my first and biggest hurdle
was the Trinity. Since I believed that Jesus was God, part of a Trinity, having
that belief suddenly challenged was like having a rug pulled out from under my
feet. It was frightening. Because my belief could not hold up in the light of
what I was reading in the Bible, I suddenly felt a deeper aloneness than I had
ever experienced before. I did not know whom to pray to and was besieged with
doubts, even about there being a God at all. Holding Back Gradually I was convinced
from the Bible that the Almighty God is Jehovah, the Father (not the Son), and
as I studied I began to rebuild my shattered faith, this time on the true foundation.
But as my knowledge and faith began to grow, pressures began to mount. My husband
threatened to leave me, and other close family members were extremely upset. As
I began to see the requirements of being a true Christian, I looked for a way
out because I did not think I could ever witness to strangers or go from door
to door to talk to others about God. My daughter, who was now studying in a nearby
town, was progressing much 
faster. Her progress, in fact, became another obstacle to me. She believed so
completely in what she was learning that she wanted to work toward becoming a
missionary. Visions of my only child in a far- off country frightened me, and
I decided that I must protect her from doing something so drastic. So I began
to search for a flaw. I felt that if I could find something this organization
was teaching that was not backed up by the Bible I could convince my daughter.
With my knack for details the search was thorough. I ended up acquiring over ten
different translations of the Bible, three concordances and many other Bible dictionaries
and reference books to supplement books from the library. I received a strange
"help" from my husband, who often brought home books and booklets that were derogatory
to the Witnesses. I pored over them, carefully weighing everything they said.
But I never found the flaw. Instead, the falsity of the Trinity doctrine, as well
as the fact that the Witnesses know and make known the name of the Father, the
true God, also their love for one another and their strict adherence to the Scriptures,
convinced me that I had found the true religion. I could not help but be deeply
impressed by the contrast between Jehovah's witnesses and the other religions
on the matter of finances. In time, my daughter and I were baptized, together
with about forty others, on August 5, 1972, in the beautiful blue Pacific Ocean,
a day I will never forget. She has now moved back home so she can devote her full
time to service as a Witness here in Hawaii. My husband is still with us and even
marvels at the changes in both of us.
people, and loving every minute of it! Another change has been that I spend
only about a fourth of the time I formerly spent painting, and yet, amazingly,
I accomplish almost the same amount of work. Too, sales and comments indicate
that the paintings are getting even better. Painting used to be almost an obsession
with me. I was driven to paint because it was my therapy, escape and relaxation,
my life completely revolved around it. I still enjoy it immensely, but the addiction
to it and dependency on it are gone. Since my growing in knowledge of Jehovah,
the Source of all creativity, it is no wonder that the quality of my paintings
has increased as the time of execution has decreased. Now most of my former
painting time is spent in God's service, studying the Bible, teaching others
and attending the five Bible study meetings at the Kingdom Hall each week. During
the past two and a half years, eighteen people have started studying the Bible
with me. Eight of these persons are now actively studying, one is ready to be
baptized, and another has been baptized. From among their families and friends,
thirteen more started studying with other Witnesses. It has been a great joy
and privilege to have a part in helping others to come to know Jehovah. It was
not easy in the beginning to give up any of my cherished solitude, my own routine
of life and a lot of my painting time, and put Jehovah's will first, before
anything else. But I was willing to try and, through prayer and relying on Jehovah's
help, I found that every step of the way was made easier and was rewarded. Proof
of his approval and help almost overwhelmed me, not only in spiritual blessings
but in many material ones as well. As I look back on my life, my first oil painting,
done when I was about eleven years old, now seems quite significant. It was
two versions of the same little girl, the one in the background was sad, with
tears in her eyes; the one in the foreground had bright smiling eyes. In the
past, the symbolic large, sad eyes I painted mirrored the puzzling contradictions
I saw in the world around me, and which raised in me so many questions. Now
I have found in the Bible the reasons for the contradictions about life that
once tormented me, as well as the answers to my questions. After my gaining
accurate knowledge of God and his purpose for mankind, it led me to the real
security of having God's approval and the inner peace and happiness that go
with it. This is being reflected in my paintings to a degree that others even
detect it. The sad, lost look of the large eyes is giving way now to a happier
look. My husband even named one of my recent happy big- eyed children "The Eye
Witness"!Contributed.
